Sunday, September 29, 2013

Hilarious! Reader Responds to Satanist "Death Threat"

(Be Warned, Lucifer and Co.! There ARE Christians with 
"God, guts, and glory" in this battlefield!)

Chuckle...(laughing thru pain) I just HAD to post this humorous yet Scriptural response on my blog. I got this email this morning, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank God that HE has a MIGHTY ARMY that is NOT afraid of cowardly Lucifer and Co.

Hey! It is only bold and courageous Christians that will win the victor's crown in the coming battles, and not the cowards. "He that OVERCOMES shall inherit all things..." Jesus promises us. Name me ONE battle in the history of mankind, in which an army of COWARDS ever won! By faith and boldness, let us press on to inherit the promises of God at last.

And thank you, David Stevens, bold and courageous brother in Christ who is obviously not afraid to stand up for Jesus Christ in this hour. Keep it up!

-Pamela Rae Schuffert reporting from the Carolinas at last (and frankly wondering  "Okay, WHAT NEXT, Lord???")


Hello Charles, Mr. Shadow Commanding Officer,
I was just reading the email that you sent to Pamela which was as follows:

Date: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 13:41:37 -0400
Subject: You have opened my eyes! Thank you!
I read your article entitled “Satanism in America Today,” and it revealed to me the secret world of Satanism that is slowly engulfing our own. I am going to pray to Jesus Christ every single day to make sure that these twisted devils see the light.

Just kidding.
You are a blight upon the modern world. Your writings and exposures of our organization have designated you an enemy. Prepare yourself, Christian, for Satan’s coming rule.
We have been watching you, Pamela. And just know that you aren't ever safe.

See you soon,
Charles Urban
SHADOW, Commanding Officer
So Charles, Mr. Shadow Commanding Officer (What a joke),
Are you really such a dimwit that you would play for the the losing team?  Might I remind you that God tossed Satan/Allah out of heaven along with a few of his buds, and he didn't encounter any problem at all doing it.  
Why didn't your mighty master put up a fight then?  Or when Jesus Christ was in the desert 40 days, why did Satan try to trick and bribe him?  Why didn't your mighty master just beat him into submission?  Oh, maybe it was because compared to God, your master is an 85 pound weakling in the ring with Andre the Giant.  
You can bet that if he has pants, that every time Satan thinks about facing God, that he has an embarrassing wet spot all across the front of his trousers.  But that talent of wetting himself won't do him much good when his backside is on fire.
At some point God has said that he will allow Satan to reign on Earth for a limited time.  But that nothing to do with your mighty master being able to take control of anything.  God has willed it due to free will, the gift given to man, in order to sort out the chafe.  It is already written what will become of your master and the likes of you.  Poor little wimp that you are.  And there isn't a single solitary thing that you or your wimpy master can do about it.
Do you really think that you can intimidate the worshipers of God?  Might I remind you of the verse, "Let him who has no sword sell his clothing and buy one."  Or the fact that when they came to take Jesus in the garden that he instructed his disciples to put away their swords.  
There are Christians that you would be best served by running from, just as your wimpy master runs from God.  You and your master have no power over us, and in fact fear us with good reason.  (Don't you?  Little wimp.)   If you pull stupid stunts we'll send you to be judged in quick fashion and let God sort you out.
Now get thou from me and go change your trousers,
David Stevens - Servant of Him whom your master and you both fear     


  1. Hilarious! Love it!

  2. Hilarious! Just love the answer!

  3. i thrice that emotion!!! tights, you stink!!!...l.J.